“The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost—a poem so famous, so frequently quoted, that it’s practically become a staple of high school English classes and graduation speeches. It’s the poem everyone loves to trot out when they want to talk about forging their own path in life, choosing the road “less traveled by,” and basking in the glow of their unique, individualistic choices.
But here’s the kicker: if you dig a little deeper (or even just scratch the surface with a mom’s intuition), you’ll find that Frost wasn’t exactly writing an ode to rugged individualism. No, dear reader, this poem was a joke. A lighthearted, slightly sarcastic dig at his good friend Edward Thomas, who apparently couldn’t decide whether to go left or right without lamenting about the possibilities he might be missing. Sound familiar?
As a mother of nine—yes, nine!—I’ve walked down many roads, both literally and figuratively. And let me tell you, each of those roads has led to a child as unique and unpredictable as the path that brought them here. I am blessed to be the mother to nine very different children, and they have all taken different roads. Let’s be honest; some of those roads have been winding, bumpy, and full of detours. But “The Road Not Taken” reminds me that no matter which road they (or I) choose, we somehow end up right where we need to be, often laughing about the journey along the way.
A Poem About Choices—Or Is It?
Frost’s famous lines:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Seems straightforward enough, right? Except, here’s the secret: both roads were basically the same. Frost even tells us this if we’re paying attention:
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same…
So what’s going on here? Why do we all insist on interpreting this poem as a manifesto for individuality? Maybe because we want to believe that every choice we make is monumental, that we’re forging ahead on a bold, uncharted path. But as any seasoned mom knows, life isn’t that tidy. Sometimes, both roads are covered in mud and leaves, and you’re just hoping to avoid stepping on a Lego.
Motherhood: The Ultimate Road Trip
Now, imagine applying this poem to parenting. If I’d treated every decision with the weight of Frost’s indecisive friend, I’d still be agonizing over whether to breastfeed or bottle-feed (mainly breast), cloth or disposable diaper (about half and half), or whether I should sleep train (absolutely not). But one thing you learn quickly as a mother is that every road taken leads to its own set of joys, challenges, and stories to tell. There’s no real “less traveled” path because every path is unique to you and your family.
Take, for example, my firstborn, Butterfly . The road with her has been paved with late-night feedings with cuddles, about a zillion school plays, and long talks about so many different topics it would make your head spin. (No, that’s not her real name – I use the kids’ nicknames in these posts.)
Did I always know where that road would lead? Absolutely not. But it’s made all the difference, and I wouldn’t change a thing.
And then there’s Boo, my youngest daughter. You’d never know just looking at this wild ball of energy that she battles a connective tissue and cardiac condition. The road with her has been anything but predictable, and let’s just say I’ve learned that some roads require more pit stops than others. But those unexpected twists and turns? They’ve shaped her into the incredible young woman she is today.
The point is, every child, every decision, every road—whether it’s the one “less traveled” or not—has its own beauty. And sometimes, the roads we take aren’t as different as we think; they’re just different enough to make our journeys interesting.
The Punchline? It’s All About Perspective
At the end of the day, Frost’s poem isn’t about choosing the right road. It’s about how we look back and tell the story of the road we did choose. As parents, we’re all walking down our own version of the road not taken. Sometimes it’s muddy, sometimes it’s full of potholes, but it’s always leading us somewhere.
So the next time you find yourself agonizing over whether to let your child join the soccer team or the chess club, remember Frost’s little joke. The choice might feel monumental now, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s just another step on the journey. And no matter which road you take, you’ll have stories, memories, and, most importantly, laughter along the way.
And if you ever get lost? Just remember, there’s no wrong road. Only roads that lead to more adventures—and maybe a few more kids along the way!
Action Steps:
- Stop Overthinking Choices: The next time you’re faced with a decision, remind yourself that both options might be more similar than they seem. Make your choice, and trust that it’ll lead to its own unique journey—don’t agonize over the “what ifs.”
- Appreciate the Path You’re On: Take a moment to look back at where your choices have brought you. Instead of focusing on what could have been, find joy in the twists and turns of the road you did take.
- Embrace the Unexpected: When life throws you an unexpected detour, lean into it. Whether it’s a change in plans or a new direction, trust that it’s all part of your own unique journey and make the most of wherever the road leads.