The Lottery by Shirley Jackson—the short story that tricks you into thinking you’re reading about a quaint little town on a summer day, only to hit you with one of the most chilling endings in American literature. If you’ve read it, you know the feeling: you start off thinking it’s all about small-town charm and end up questioning every friendly neighborhood event you’ve ever participated in. You know, just in case someone hands you a slip of paper with a black dot on it. Spoiler alert: you don’t want that dot.
Tradition for Tradition’s Sake?
The story centers on a seemingly ordinary annual lottery in a small town. But instead of a big prize or a celebratory gathering, this lottery ends with someone getting stoned to death by the community. Yep, it’s the ultimate example of blindly following tradition because “that’s how we’ve always done it.” And I can’t help but think: if Ralph Waldo Emerson (remember our pal from Self-Reliance?) were around, he’d be shaking his head and saying, “I told you so.”
Now, as a mom of nine, I’ve had my fair share of moments where I’ve wondered why we do the things we do. “Is this really necessary?” I’ve asked myself as I cleaned up the 86th glitter spill of the day or went through the umpteenth sibling argument over whose turn it was to do the dishes. Traditions are great until they become routines we follow without question, especially when those routines stop making sense. And believe me, with kids ranging from age 10 to 31, I’ve learned when to stick with a rule and when to let it go before it turns into our own little version of The Lottery.
“But We’ve Always Done It This Way” Is a Trap
The Lottery is a cautionary tale for anyone who’s ever followed a rule, tradition, or ritual without asking why. The people in Jackson’s story don’t question the ritual stoning—not even the victim herself—because it’s been going on for so long that no one even remembers why they started doing it in the first place. It’s just “the way things are done,” and anyone who challenges it is met with a wave of side-eye and suspicion.
Sound familiar? Because let me tell you, when I hear the phrase “but we’ve always done it this way,” I know we’re in trouble. It’s the first sign that we’re following the script without really understanding the story. And as a mother of many, I’ve learned that questioning tradition is not only okay but necessary. Like when your husband insists that dessert must come after dinner every night and you decide that, hey, maybe ice cream for breakfast every now and then won’t hurt either. (Spoiler: It’s fun and kind of liberating.)
What Are We Teaching Our Kids?
One of the most chilling parts of The Lottery is that even the children participate in the ritual. They don’t blink an eye as they gather stones and join the crowd. Jackson isn’t subtle here—she’s reminding us that our kids will mirror our actions without fully understanding them. If we want our kids to be kind, thoughtful, and willing to question what doesn’t feel right, then we’ve got to lead by example.
Let’s be honest: the traditions we pass down to our kids—whether it’s holiday rituals, family rules, or even how we treat others—shape their worldview. But if we pass them down without questioning them first, they might inherit a tradition that doesn’t serve them, or worse, one that harms them or others. So, while it might be easier to say, “This is just how things are,” we owe it to our kids (and ourselves) to pause, reflect, and sometimes, throw out that old rule book.
Learning to Challenge Tradition
Don’t get me wrong—I love a good family tradition. And trust me, with nine kids, we’ve built up plenty of them. But unlike the townsfolk in The Lottery, we’ve learned when to bend the rules and when to let them go completely. We still have our family taco night, but if one of the kids suggests making pancakes instead, guess what? We’re not going to treat them like they’ve questioned the fabric of the universe.
Shirley Jackson’s story hits a little too close to home when we realize how easy it is to get caught up in habits and traditions, even when they’ve lost their purpose. So, what can we take away from The Lottery (besides a deep-seated fear of community events)?
Here’s the deal: sometimes, it’s okay to question why we do things. Whether it’s a long-standing family rule or a community tradition that feels more oppressive than fun, we can—and should—ask, “Is this still serving us?” And if the answer is no, maybe it’s time to take a page out of Emerson’s book and blaze a new trail, even if it means abandoning an old tradition or two.
Takeaway: Choose Your Own Tradition
At the end of the day, The Lottery reminds us that following tradition for tradition’s sake is a dangerous game. So the next time you find yourself following a routine or tradition without knowing why, take a minute to question it. And if it doesn’t feel right anymore, toss it out—before someone hands you a black-dotted slip of paper.
In my house, we’ve learned to keep the traditions that bring us closer and toss the ones that just make us miserable. (And I never even started on that danged Elf on the Shelf – I saw that one for the annoying little menace he was long before anyone tried to buy us one!) So, go ahead, make your own rules and your own traditions. And if you’ve got to break a few old ones along the way? Well, at least no one’s getting stoned. (At least not that kind of stoned. No judgment here on what you do in your downtime.)
Action Steps:
- Question Long-Standing Traditions: Take a look at one family or community tradition that you follow and ask yourself, “Why do we still do this?” If it no longer serves a purpose or brings joy, it might be time to change it or let it go.
- Start a New Tradition: Pick something fun and meaningful, and make it a new family tradition. It could be as simple as a weekly movie night or cooking a special meal together. Make sure it brings your family closer and reflects your values.
- Encourage Kids to Speak Up: Create an environment where your kids feel comfortable questioning the “why” behind rules and traditions. Let them suggest changes and involve them in decisions—this helps build critical thinking and ensures your family traditions stay relevant and enjoyable.